Resetting

I just deleted six years worth of article drafts that I never got around to publishing, and it was a tremendous and fantastic feeling. I have been running my company for more than six years, and I have been struggled to distill my professional knowledge into something comprehensible. And I was also trying to hold on to them for the time when I had enough bandwidth to go back and edit them.

But you know that that time never came, and those articles when from being knowledge transfers to a giant fucking lodestone I was carrying around with me that was doing no one any good and was a burden to myself. I kept telling myself over and over again to get back to writing and did all of these little steps and mini-processes to try to keep me writing, and none of that BS worked.

Then I had a realization; the topics I had picked FUCKING SUCKED.

Don't get me wrong; it was all handy information designed to help startups and new managers build successful sales teams. But the titles of my posts started to read like a manual, and no one has time to read manuals, and I certainly wasn't excited to write one (anyone out there writing and manuals, I salute you! You do something I have no aptitude for).

But why was I having such a hard time writing on these topics despite excelling in these roles?

Simple, I didn't like the topics. The topics were all related to work I had done in the past, and I excelled in those roles, but just thinking about continuing to talk about them made me tired. And worst of all, it wasn't funny or engaging. It didn't matter that I was great in the role; I couldn't find a way to talk about it because I hated the material.

HolyShitZOMGMind=BLOWN. I was trying to carry around a mountain when I should have climbed it or gone around it. So many pieces suddenly fell into place.

Being great at something doesn't mean you have to like it, and if you don't like, don't force yourself. I'm not suggesting you up and quit your job, but don't let the job or your dissatisfaction define who you are.

That is the mistake that I made for waaaaay too fucking long. I did great work in roles I detested, so I didn't exert myself to excel. I was someone that punched way above my weight as a student, and while I was in school, did things other's wished they had done, What HAPPENED TO ME?!?

I compromised too often and gave up when I should have stayed the course. And no more. It's time to make a change, and to once more, do awesome things.

It's time for a comeback.